Happy New Fears


My husband is in a quandary about how to spend New Year’s Eve. He remarked this week about how his favorite celebration in the last few years was spent at home, toasting the arrival of the New Year with champagne in our hot tub. That year had been especially trying as Mom’s condition had taken a severe turn for the worse. I wished for the strength to cope with what was to come and got my wish.

This year has been challenging too, and I suppose each year in one’s life must be. Bob lost his job of eleven years in September of 2012 and started a new one in February 2013. He hated it so much, it made his blood pressure escalate to the point of requiring medication. I encouraged him to quit after six months. He did, and started a new job in September. The new job is much better and pays a lot more, and I’m grateful. The hours are long, but he likes the work and his colleagues. So he’s poised for a happier new year.

I started a new career path in March as a natural extension of my elder care exploits. I was recruited by a major financial services company (the one Tommy Lee Jones likes) and graduated to becoming a financial advisor in August. It’s a great company and I love the potential of what I can do to help people. But it’s hard! Persuading people to sit down and talk to me about grown up stuff is not easy. My passion to get families talking and considering their futures does come through and I am determined to make headway in this profession in 2014.

Mom is appreciably worse. I’m glad she’s acclimating to her home. But her language capabilities are suffering and her physical coordination is failing. And her long term care funds are down to about another year where she is. I’m going to have to make some decisions.

No one knows how long a person may live. Mom can go on like this for years to come. I have resources to keep her where she is for a while. But on a long enough time line, the ugly specter of Medicaid will have to be considered. And I really hate that idea.

Clearly, she can’t live here. Been there, done that. It’s too dangerous for all of us. But if the money I put aside starts running out, I’ll need a “Plan B,” which may have to involve “Plan M.”

More grown up stuff to contemplate. Doesn’t it ever get easier? Some days, yes. Others, no.

If you find yourself in need of talking to someone about planning for your family’s future, I highly recommend working with a professional. I always have, even before becoming one. Working with the right people can save you money, aggravation and heartache.

Wishing you and yours a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful New Year. And don’t feel pressured to go out to celebrate. Sometimes the best times are the simplest, if you’re lucky. I know I am. Cheers!


About traceysl

Digital Artist, creative technologist, problem-solving lover of life. Having cared for my mother, who died on April 14, 2015 after a long fight with dementia, I have refocused professionally to helping others through my experience. I have started a company called Grand Family Planning to provide unique Family Support Services. In this way, I share my knowledge and give meaning to the tragic turn of my parents' journey through the misery of dementia.
This entry was posted in aging, assisted living, caregiving, dementia, Family, life changes, long term care, long term care insurance, Medicaid, planning and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Happy New Fears

  1. Smedley says:

    So wonderful!

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