Love in Bloomers

Maybe I am a genius after all. Maybe I just have great instincts. Or it could be dumb luck. (Lord knows I’ve been due for a little of that!) Whatever the case, Mom is really taking to her new surrounds and ingratiating herself to everyone there.

The director of the facility told me how cute Mom and her new beau were together. He’s profoundly deaf and he uses an amplifier. Mom was talking into the amplifier and everyone could hear her. They talked about sex (he had an operation which would make intercourse highly unlikely) but she didn’t mind. She sang to him. When he said he couldn’t dance, she said she’d dance for him (and apparently did).

When your business is taking care of profoundly demented people, it’s joyful when a miracle like this unfolds. It makes everyone happy. So Mom has brought a new vibe to her residence and everyone seems to love her.

On Thursday, I called to see how Mom was doing. Are she and Alan* still an item? He was in the hospital. Oh crap, no.

I had some agita over that information and prayed for Alan’s swift recovery. Friday, I called and spoke to Mom briefly. She sounded pretty good. More lucid than usual. She said she wanted to go home soon and resume packing. Hmm.

Then the director of the home called me. She told me Alan was back and he’s fine. Mom, however, had an altercation with a new female resident who also found Alan irresistible. They wrestled a bit and Mom got bruised wrists, but she’s fine. I was also assured that, at the time of day I called, all the residents say they want to “go home.” It’s part of “sundowning.”

What’s really cool is Alan wants to be with Mom. He was supposed to be transferred to  a facility for higher functioning people, but he’s decided to stay specifically to be with Mom. He’s asked for privacy with her. He’s not at all interested in anyone else. And Mom calls him by HIS NAME (not “Herby”). She knows who he is and it appears their romance is REAL. True love in a group home. Who’d’ve thunk it?

*Not his real name.


About traceysl

Digital Artist, creative technologist, problem-solving lover of life. Having cared for my mother, who died on April 14, 2015 after a long fight with dementia, I have refocused professionally to helping others through my experience. I have started a company called Grand Family Planning to provide unique Family Support Services. In this way, I share my knowledge and give meaning to the tragic turn of my parents' journey through the misery of dementia.
This entry was posted in aging, caregiving, delusions, dementia, Family, life changes, psychosis, Romance. Bookmark the permalink.

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